Skip to main content

500 and Counting ~ Scene 2 ~ The Gas Stop (Help write a story)


 
Recently, I ran across a short-story contest of five hundred words or less, based on the picture above, and just for fun, I decided to write one. I knocked the five hundred words out in an hour, so I didn’t expect anything amazing, but the feedback from my family and friends surprised me, so I wanted to offer this up to my online community of friends and see what your thoughts are.



Each week I’ll use readers’ suggestions and write five hundred more words based on your feedback.



And just to make this interesting, I’ll offer up one of my novels free to the commenter whose suggestion I use.



Okay…let’s write a story.



 
(If you haven't read Week 1 yet, please click on the link. Otherwise, the story won't make any sense, believe me. There's a link, which will bring you right back.)








Chapter One Week 2


Gino started upright. Beads of sweat poured from his forehead and saturated his mop of hair; he needed a cut bad. He reached to his right and touched his wife’s arm.
She rolled over in response. “Same dream again, honey?” she mumbled into her pillow.
“Yeah.”He tossed his legs over the side and headed toward the bathroom. “I just don’t understand. They’ve been dead for twenty years. Why am I even dreaming about them? And they lived in Pennsylvania. I don’t even know anyone in California.”
He leaned against the doorframe and stared at his wife as if she held the answer.
She must have felt his gaze because she opened one eye, obviously not happy with him waking her up so early, but he needed to make sure that she was there, that they were alive and not in some weird purgatory type of reality. He didn’t even believe in a hereafter, let alone an in between dimension.
Sheila sat up in bed and stared at him. “It’s just a dream, Gino. Let it go. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“But don’t you see,” he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, “it does. Their case was never closed. Their death is one of the reasons I became a cop in the first place. And now, ever since I’ve made detective, it’s as though they expect me to solve their murder.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, babe. Go back to sleep. You’re right; it doesn’t mean anything.”
He brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. “Although, some of the dream is accurate. Like how we can’t go on a trip without stopping every two hours.” He laughed and she smacked his arm.
“Go to work, you weirdo.” She rolled over again, dismissing the conversation.
After Gino filled up his mega coffee mug, he hopped into his Mustang and tore off toward the station. The one thing that kept tugging at his mind was that he hadn't recognized his grandfather’s face at first. The sound of his grandmother’s voice was what had him pulling his wife out the door to safety. But when his grandfather had stepped in front of him, asking him if he recognized him—
Why was he even thinking of this? Sheila was right. It was just a dream.
He bit down on his lip and stared at the kids crossing the street in front of him. The crossing guard waved a greeting. It was too small of a town for the death of two people to go unsolved, especially two of the greatest people who’d ever walked the earth.
It wasn’t right. Too many unanswered questions shadowed their deaths. Gino inhaled a large breath as he pressed on the gas and looked up at that the sky at nothing particular; people just did it because it made them feel better. Even if his Pap wasn’t in another realm, he still deserved an answer. And Gino intended to get those answers.


About me:



I write modern-day fairytales filled with romance, mystery, suspense, and of course, tragedy. After all, what would a fairytale be without a tragic event setting the stage? All of my novels are sensual, but not erotic, gripping but not graphic and will hopefully make you cry, laugh, love, and hope.



I love talking about all things books, so please connect with me via one of the links below.
















Books available:






When two strangers have nothing left but their dreams, they must forge a relationship in Nantahala, North Carolina, a small town known as Land of the Noonday Sun.






After secrets and a mysterious background leave a wife’s life hanging by a thread, a husband must look for answers in the only place he knows—the past.



Now available at:















And coming soon, Entangled Dreams






Comments

  1. Gino was pulling into the parking lot of the police station, when he caught a whiff of cologne. It wasn't his brand and the car windows were closed so he wasn't picking up the smell from the outside. It reminded him of an aftershave commercial from T.V. He never used this brand, but someone he loved did.He turned around quickly, expecting to see his grandfather, but he was alone in the car.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome! I love using scents, as it is our most powerful form of recall. Great idea to link back to the dream. I'm using it. :))

      Delete
  2. That was great! Let me see if I can continue...

    If the unexpected scent was not enough, he's halfway to his desk when his partner intercepts him. There's a call out. Double homicide of a middle age couple. When they arrive at the scene, its an exact replica from the pictures of his grandparents murders. The killer is back....and in he's in his neck of the woods.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you, Marie and MJ, for your comments. New scene tomorrow will incorporate both of your suggestions, so I'll be getting with you about your free book. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"As in any fairytale, everything good must come to an end." ENTANGLED DREAMS:

Now, if you’ve read any of my novels or excerpts, you know I don’t do happy-go-lucky beginnings; and as in any fairytale, a little rain must fall, or in the case of my stories, I prefer a monsoon. This week’s excerpt: But alas, as in any good fairytale, everything good and wonderful must come to an end. After the tragic accident that snatched her mother away from Alexandra, her father moved them away from the beaches of Destin to another beach in Florida. Cocoa Beach. Cocoa Beach was loud, the water murky, and there were no weekend adventures as there had been in Destin. Her father married her evil stepmother, Lilith, who Alexandra was certain was a witch with her long, black as midnight hair and pale-white skin as if she’d never seen sunlight. Her father had admitted he wasn’t in love with Cruella, as she had come to think of the witchy woman, but that he’d wanted Alexandra to have a mother and siblings. Well, she definitely got that. The k

To prologue or not to prologue, that is the question. Readers, please weigh in!

Personally, I love prologues. They get you right into the action whether it was in the past or something exciting that is to come. But that’s exactly why most agents’ blogs I’ve read say not to use them. Paraphrasing…“If you need a prologue, then your story must not be strong enough…” Hmm … well, I like them, and I use them. But I’m curious what readers think, and I’d love you to weigh in. AND, if you have some great examples, please leave the title in the comment section. Now … here’s what I’ve noticed. Plenty of bestselling books have used them, even though they aren’t always called prologues . Same diff in my opinion. My biggest example is ‘Twilight’. If that little blurb wasn’t in the beginning, I don’t think I would have made it through the first chapter. How about movies? I don’t watch a lot. But I’ve started to notice how many have “prologues”. I also don’t have cable, but I have NetFlix, and hubby has just started watching ‘Breaking Bad’. Okay … I

First look at Creatus Animus...

Warning!!! Spoiler Alert!!! This is an excerpt from Creatus Animus , the fourth book (fifth if you count the prequel) in the ongoing Creatus series. Although each book can stand on its own, you will learn secrets that will spoil the mystery and suspense for you if you read out of order. If you haven't already read the Creatus series, find the entire series on Amazon.com . For the rest of you, welcome to the first peek of Creatus Animus . I hope you enjoy. Carmen If we allow enmity in our hearts, war is inevitable... For four thousand years, creatus have concealed themselves from the humans who hunted them almost to extinction. Now, one rogue faction plans to retaliate by ridding the world of humankind. Only one division of creatus, with the strength and numbers to fight the sinister sect, stands between humanity and a new world order. What they discover, however, might prove the truth about the creatus myths, and why humans started hunting them so man