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500 & Counting ~ Scene 5 ~ A short story readers help write. Join in!

If you haven't been here, we're writing a short story. Each week I use readers’ suggestions and write exactly five hundred words based on their feedback.

And just to make this interesting, I offer up one of my novels free to the commenter whose suggestion I use.

Okay…let’s write a story.

(If you haven't read the first scenes, please click on the link. Otherwise, the story won't make sense. Don’t worry; there's a link, which will bring you right back.)

Chapter 1 ~ Scene 5

Gino paced, his mind spinning. Was he crazy? The dreams, the music, the pipe scent, the bells. It couldn’t all be a coincidence.
He hunched over, resting his hands on his knees, as his mind spun.
Another voice echoed in his head, but this time it wasn’t a dream or ghost chimes. An embedded memory from his childhood when he was learning to ride his bicycle. His Pap had scolded him when he cried and wanted to give up after he’d run into garbage bins. “Nonsense, boy,” he’d rumbled in his deep voice. “Stand up, wipe your backside off, and get back on that bike. You gonna let something knock you down? Show your Pap you’re a man.”
Every time Gino had wanted to give up at the academy, studying for the sergeant's exams, getting Sheila—he laughed at how he’d refused to back off no matter how many times she’d insisted she didn’t date cops—he’d remember his Pap’s words.
Gino stood to his full six-two and walked back into the diner.
The old man approached again. “Sorry, Gino. Didn’t mean to spook ya. Your Pap and I go way back. We played football together. ‘Course we didn’t have the gear yens have today.” The old man tapped his head. “They just gave us a strip of leather to put over our noggins.” He chuckled and turned, gesturing Gino should walk. “Your Pap was a good man, going into the service and all, then onto being a cop.” He stopped and looked Gino in the eyes. “Your Pap ever mention me?”
Gino shook his head.
“Name’s Alan, but everyone calls me Smitty.” He started walking again, stopping in front of the Captain. “See yens around.”
Captain notched his head up then glared at Gino, sucking his teeth again. “What’s up?”
Gino sunk into the booth, leaning forward. “Tell me how this scene mirrors my grandparents’ death.”
Jackson moved to the edge of the booth resting his back against the window. “I just got off the phone. I set up a time to go inspect the scene, but apparently there’s not much to see.” He propped his elbow up on the table. “What always struck me as odd with your grandparents’ death is that they both died peacefully in their sleep on the same night.” Captain turned and looked around as though someone might be eavesdropping. Good, Gino thought, he still has some preservation skills. “Your pap was the epitome of good health. Heck, he worked out more than I did. According to the detective, they found these folks the same way, with no signs of a struggle.”
Confused, Gino shook his head. “So, why do you think it’s murder?”
“Because the detective does. A man, letting his dog out to do its business, saw someone crawl into his neighbor’s window. He assumed it was a burglary, but did the smart thing and called 911. Not ten minutes later, the police arrived, found nothing missing, but discovered two dead bodies.”

Okay, friends, what happens next? Can’t wait to see what you guys have in store for us. J

Please feel free to jump in by leaving your comments below.

About me:

I write modern-day fairytales filled with romance, mystery, suspense, and of course, tragedy. After all, what would a fairytale be without a tragic event setting the stage? All of my novels are sensual, but not erotic, gripping but not graphic and will hopefully make you cry, laugh, love, and hope.

I love talking about all things books, so please connect with me via one of the links below.

Books available:

When two strangers have nothing left but their dreams, they must forge a relationship in Nantahala, North Carolina, a small town known as Land of the Noonday Sun.

After secrets and a mysterious background leave a wife’s life hanging by a thread, a husband must look for answers in the only place he knows—the past.

Now available at:

And coming soon, Entangled Dreams


  1. "Okay, when can we go and check out this outfor ourselves and was there a descripiton of the man who broke into the house?" Gino asked.

    "We can go now, if you want, but as far as a descripiton...the witness claimed the man wore a mask," the captain replied.

  2. Hi Carmen. I've been taking a break this summer and haven't done much blogging, so I've missed out on reading your short story from the beginning. This sounds like a fun blog idea. I've left you a gift on my blog. Stop by my post titled Fabulous Blogger Award!


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