Recently, I ran across a short-story contest of five hundred
words or less, and just for fun, I decided to write
one. I knocked the five hundred words out in an hour, so I didn’t expect
anything amazing, but the feedback from my family and friends surprised me, so
I wanted to offer this up to my online community of friends and see what your
thoughts are.
Each week I’ll use readers’ suggestions and write five
hundred more words based on your feedback.
And just to make this interesting, I’ll offer up one of my
novels free to the commenter whose suggestion I use.
Okay…let’s write a story.
(If you haven't read the first
three scenes yet, please click on the link. Otherwise, the story won't make any
sense, believe me. There's a link, which will bring you right back.) 500 and Counting First Three Scenes
Scene 4
Gino
swallowed hard. “Homicide? No one has ever admitted my grandparents’ death was
a homicide.”
Jackson
took a sip of his iced tea and looked around the diner. “Well, I’ve always
thought it was suspicious. Your grandfather meant the world to me; he was my
mentor. And their death has troubled me for twenty years.”
A
shiver swept through Gino. “Me too. What are the similarities?” He looked over
his shoulder again, haunted by the sound and smell he knew couldn’t have been
his imagination.
“We’ll
discuss it back at the station. What are you looking for, Gino?” Jackson’s
voice held an edge of irritation, and Gino couldn’t blame him because of how
strange he was behaving. He must look like a paranoid schizophrenic.
He
turned back toward his captain, afraid to voice his question, but he had to.
“Did you see someone smoking a pipe?” Maybe whoever it was had gone to the
restroom.
Captain’s
brow furrowed. “Customers aren’t allowed to smoke inside the restaurant.”
Gino
nodded. He knew that, he’d just hoped he wasn’t losing his mind.
“Jo,
pick up!” a woman’s raspy voice rattled from behind the counter. Gino gasped
and looked at the woman who sounded just like his grandmother, calling out for
his Pap.
“Are
you all right,” Captain asked. “You look as if you saw a ghost.”
“Did
she just call for “Joe” to pick up?”
Captain
huffed out a breath. “Yeah. JoAnn’s one of the waitresses. I think you need to
lay off the coffee, Gino. You’re as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful
of rocking chairs.”
Inhaling
a deep breath, Gino sunk into the booth.
Jackson
leaned forward. “Back to your grandparents. Have you read their file?”
“I
planned to today,” Gino admitted, wondering if that was unethical. “Of course,
I was gonna check with you first.”
Captain
sucked air through his teeth, a habit the other cops constantly mocked behind
his back. “So, you haven’t pulled it yet? Never looked at it?”
Nervous
at once, Gino shook his head. What was the Captain insinuating?
“That’s
what I was afraid of. It’s missing. I went to pull it this morning when I got
the call—” Jackson stopped speaking, his eyes glancing up at an older gentleman
with a white apron approaching the table.
“Two
specials, gentlemen—Gino!”
Gino
glared at the man, questioning how he knew his name. He hadn’t been in here in
years.
The
old man bent down in front of him. “Don’t you recognize me, son?”
“What
- did - you - say?” Gino asked each word individually, his voice almost a
shout.
“Um…Your
pap used to bring you in here.” The old man’s voice faltered, obviously taken
aback.
Gino
stood up. “I’m sorry. Excuse me.” He needed to get some fresh air.
He
rushed toward the exit, opened the door, and started to walk out of the
restaurant, but stopped and looked up. No bells. His stomach plunged and he
thought he might get sick.
Okay, friends,
what happens next? In our first four weeks, we have sufficiently scared the heck
out of Gino, clearly something is going on. But before he orders himself exorcised,
we’ll have to find his strength as a detective. Can’t wait to see what you guys
have in store for us. J
Please feel free
to jump in by leaving your comments below.
About me:
I write
modern-day fairytales filled with romance, mystery, suspense, and of course,
tragedy. After all, what would a fairytale be without a tragic event setting
the stage? All of my novels are sensual, but not erotic, gripping but not
graphic and will hopefully make you cry, laugh, love, and hope.
I love talking
about all things books, so please connect with me via one of the links below.
Books available:
When
two strangers have nothing left but their dreams, they must forge a
relationship in Nantahala, North Carolina, a small town known as Land of the
Noonday Sun.
After
secrets and a mysterious background leave a wife’s life hanging by a thread, a
husband must look for answers in the only place he knows—the past.
Now available at:
But a sudden thought brought him racing back to the present. His grandparents had been murdered and now their file was missing. Was it their spirits haunting him, pushing him to find the truth? He walked back to the booth and took a seat.
ReplyDelete"Tell me what you remember from the case, everything," Gino told Jackson.
The captains gaze darts to the side as he fidgets, suddenly uncomfortable. Gino doesn't understand the sudden change of his superiors demeanor. The captain begins relating what he can remember from the scene. Gino listens in rapt attention, realizing something about the procedure used during the investigation seems off, not exactly up to par. When Gino questions this, his captain chalks it up to his memory not being what it used to be. He was a rookie back then, in training with his Gino's grandfather. That's why he needs the file. Gino accepts the reasoning. His determination to find the missing file is solidified.
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